I'v just been on myspace.....and i aint done that for a long time.......looked at my blog and it had been over a year scince the last time i had even looked at it-it was funny to look at what was happening a year ago....goin to egypt......still thinkin neil was a girl...the cute stuff that you forgot about basically.....
.....
so im back for my free thearpy!!
....
so what's going on in my life now?? wish i could tell you im still unsure myself sometimes-but ill try :)
i'm still with the love of my life aka the girl neil and in second year at uni one ywear left an thats it out on my own-worried? you bet.
and christmas is coming.....iv decorated neils flat....kind of.just stuck aload of stuff in it-now it's bursting at the seams lol
i feel the same but often you can t see in yourself how your changing or how you have changed-often you say it's everyone else. i dont think it is all the time. Were forever changing. likes, dislike whatever....habits?
now these make me laf-habits. we all have them some more so than others-ever tried to stop them or change them?? if you have you know it's as easy as cutting a hole in your eyes. pretty impossible-
you know what im watch about how 2 ten year old boys tourtued and killed Jamie Bulger (Sorry bout spelling)
Can you imagine doing that to some one? that young?
seriously as iv got just a little more world wise i get how people can kill other people. i get it. i do. but when your that young to see some one in that much pain and not be mentally ill to be ok with that....these lads knew what was right or wrong they had the police prove that this was true of thyem....i dont get it.odd how it confuses me so. peple can be evil....but you still dont get it do you? i was more concerened with dolls at that age....god im sitting her stunned. seriously stunned. and sickened....and just for no reason....a little lad. it's so sad
But...they now have changed names been educated and hyave a new slate-
neil just said that they will be found and killed and i can only hope that and i mean that. not that ake i r5eally mean they just worry bout it i mean i hope what goes around comes around. i really do.

So anyway presentation tomorrow-whoop......should be good.....hopefully think i will do well-hope i have not Jynixed myself hee hee

the crimbo trees up and neils is coming here to the computer to give me a hug......
thats better

i kinda think that uni aint all it's cracked up to be- mel whos one of my "actor colleages" said somethin that made a really good point bout this course

"do you feel like an actoe when your doin push ups when your not acting when your being theatrical....when your not.....
this went on but we have yet to act......but we will soon-
someone said somethig today that cheered me up-that the part i had was brilliant
an i gotta say i didnt think it was at first
but now i think bout it it was pretty much my own ego...funny how your ego is hidden in everythin you do....like the mirror0-an how it stabs you in the back lol.....dont think im goin to write anymore right now....but maybe iv restarted my blogging-
hey you can but hope

x

Little drunk---but meloves everyone xxxx......luk3 included :)))) talk to you soon miss you ....blah neil says hi
xx

time for an update??why not??
ever feel like you can actually feel time passing you....like almost see it in the distance waving a very white flag at you as it slips a little bit further away?

well thats how my holidays have felt-im pretty sure that everyone in the world feels the same way thou so why i mention it is utterly beyond me :)

An Oh yeah baby iv been camping--fun but so very muddy-me and neil were even considered the hard core campers when we sat out in the rain for over two hours fighting to start a fire in the pissing and yes i mean utter pissing down rain....
all good and to be honest i felt the most relaxed in that short time than i have for almost the last year-not that iv been stupidly stressed-but you always notice something like that as soon as it goes missing, the good and the bad.

all was well with uni could of done better and therefore will and must-must-must must....maybe i should start destroying controllers to xboxs and all else-must read-oh and the book list as long as my face????yeah not one book have i got not one-jesus tap dancing christ i need to pull the finger out.

A test for arthritist???maybe but ii dont feel its all that nessicary- my joints seem a l;ittle sore latly and stiff at night but for who evers sake you want to have im 20 and not ready to start moaning about just how unfair life can be-not me-i do enough of the- like how dragons and wolves can be dangerous or how dragons who have wolves in their mouths and fire them (good line....good line heh heh heh)

so down to hull tomo....can't wait and can strangly enough.....ya get me??no...?
glad cause i dont get me either...
might be that it just sends getting bk to work tht lil bit closer....doh!

What else??
dunno but more of an effoert to keep this up i thinkin.....ohoho yes.

Juast thinin now how cool it would be to be a sniper (Watchin a bourne thin....never good with an active imagination)
and the weird thing is i know a fully trained sniper...one of the nicest men iv met...id probobly sneeze and then say sorry out loud

now neils is shoutin at the com....understandably i do it...and then call the game a cheat...

right i think that iv vented a little bit so see you in another 12 weekish

I cant stop crying right now
all im doing is sitting here letting my face get dry and then sticky from my tears and i hae no idea why
well actyually i do know what started the crying but i just can;'t semm to stop it now
it's stupid and i hate it

but i need this it's so bloody stupid and i cant stand it but im feeling bteer
this all started in the name of someone else telling me stuff for "my own good"
really?
cause to be honest i dont feel that good right now
i feel shit
i feel sick to my stomach and all i want to do is dissapear right now
i dont wanna know
i dont wanna care
i dont even know what i want all i feel like is that im going freaking crazy and no idea to stop it.
This started with me going the gym
now please uderstand that im not a pretentious twat that needs to waer high fucking heels to go for a run
but mum sees me and decided thats it
i obviously dont care about my looks no more.
i have boots that are a state but i love them and that also makes me a scank.
Apparently all i do is wear too low tops and that makes people have the wrong impression of me.
in other words i must look like a whore.
When you say this to someone who has enough issues with there appearence that a large battle ship could be filled it's not the thing to do
and then.....
i dont even care no more.
i just know that right now the only thig i wanna do is not look or talk to anyone anymore. I dont get why this really sucks and bitchs at me to my core but it does it really does. ebvery time i even try and open my mouth and speak about it water works just fly oue. i have had enough of being......judged isnt the right word. Guess im fed up with just trying so hard to look ok and not even getting there. I just hate doing it and i dont wanna do it anymore....but there you go. i cant do that. i'd rather dice my own fingers that do that....so i just keep chasing this dream that i can never catch. I feel like im borderline depressed but iv no idea how to shakes this feeling. Just feels like iv got a wail locked in the back of my throat and it really hurts cause i can't get it out.
so when people come around and talk to me ill smile and ill laught ill een do a good impression of being half intersted in what they are saying but really today i can say that for some insane reason i'v been cut to the core. really it's true when they say that those who know you best can hurt you worst. Everytime it's been proven right and it's no different today.
But today all ill think about is how people must look at me. a scruffy cow who shows off her boobs. Been said by my own parents so it's obviosly true.right.
i still dont get why i cant stop crying. i just wish i never cried at all. I feel so much weaker after i do it.
Iv no money and my mum has the nerve to say "more important things to have than your nails done. Going back to me obviously being a scruffy slut with nice nails than right?
iv just had enough. i think that now im ging to post this and hope no one reads it. Stupid as it sounds.

hi livejournal..........waves missed you and i am swearing an oath that i will fill you up with love tomo.....promises i do xxx

'specially seeing as i should be pulling my fingers out of my backside and doing uni work tnat i know very soon must be comkpleted?
ill tell you shall i?
it's because whern i want to work the world and i do mean the whole wide world and maybe some martians called Zong really, pianfully dont want me to do it.i kid not children.i kid not.

First?
do you know that passports now have the ability to turn once very decent people into raving lunatics?that they now have the special ability to frick up in a beautiful bloody and violent way any plans that you may of had with your evening?
they can.they most definatly ans seriously can....and more importantly they will.i can pretty much bet the price the price of all micheal Jacksons plasic surgry bills put together on that one.

Secondly?
not only does this passport need to be antisocial and pretty much "anti-understanable" it needs signitures....on everything and i do mean everything...also they cant be just anyone signiture.no that would be silly.it has to be off someone who lives in liverpool.
now dont get me wrong.i like to get down and see people. exchange pleasentrys and then ofcourse lift my ittle finger as i swig tea.but iv been ill recently.to the point of AnE.and im not feeling pretty good about having to get things like £80 out my bank to pay for the freaking-devil-possed-passport.i dont want to have the pay at the pump broken so i have to freeeze my ass off for a thether hour whilst trying to pay for my feul. i really dont like my mum sitting there at my side looking as though she was sitting on the charity races of ancient rome....and complaining about it...loudly.
i mjust want to be warm and feel as though my body can kick it back for the whole of 5 mins.

Usage of the pictures that you got the whole of a month ago?
nope that one cuts off a stand of hair-....your face that is ment to be so in "the oval" is infact ment to be as far away from the oval as you can possible get it whilst still being in the photo...i am not in the slightest joking when i say that my chin looked like it was about to be removed by the "oval"FRIEND.and this way i got the photo i needed.just.by.the.skin.of.my.teeth.
which ironically i may start grinding on the next part.
not only do i have to pay for a son-of-a-demented-bulldog-i ahve top pay to make sure that its all correct.this pisses me off no end.
why?i hear the many crowds of people ask
because they have made it easier to impersonate Simon Cowell then to fill that freaking thing out.
i had a woman who is pretty much a proffesor of science sit there and just looked confused at it-it was only on the 45th trime of re-reading that she got it.shes one of the mopst intellegent people i know-and she was having a hard time cracking the codes of that form.
they make sure that you have to pay to get it right-i felt like writing to Mr.Pass of Port and asking why he felt the need to screw us out of more money when we have the whole of the hoilday to do that for us?
and finally you have completed your passport....
congratulation....
that's it...it's all over.Or is it??
the answer may be no
because if you are asked for an interveiw-your fucked.
my holiday?Jan 4th
waiting time for your interveiw?12 weeks.
sorry i juat have to repeat that.
12 of your freaking weeks.
oh it just gets better and better.
so by the time you actually sit down your;
concentration
determination
will to live
have gone out of the nearest window never to return again.
so question answered.why LJ?...it's either that of the nearest kitchen knief....and a ticket to Mr.Pass of Ports house.
unless ofcourse i need a passport.

i habe not beem able to type up so iv been usin something almost comletly alien to me
a pen and paper.
so here i go on my 10 page marathon
seriously.
this ones from my sitting in the back show of my show....just all sittin and no fun makes andi go crazy.as you will discover.no wait i lie!this is from 2 hours of me sittin on my own waitin for my a lesson to start
"pen.
im sittin on my own lisyenin to the rain.it's cold.im tired.i sound like somethin off bambi but the truth is i really couldnt care less.just trying not to fall asleep and ironically that seems to be takin all my energy.oh the joy.
i think that i have about 1 3/4 hours to go.what can i do?nothin?no wait.really i could do some running.i could even do some breathing excercises/sleeping.,.."
ill finish this some other time
freaking fingers r hurting me

Who were you with last night?
Lucy and Neil

What woke you up this morning?
Freaking God forsaken Alarm....*images of smashed peices....all glittering like glass in the morning sunlight*

Where are you?
Foster Building- at UCLAN

Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
Do i look phycic?bad question. Er....it's a friday so it should be

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
So far....and it's 8 in the moring....yep

When's the last time you cried?
Ha ironically only like the other day...man iv been far to emotional lately


The PAST

Ever thrown up in public?
too often

Passed out because of alcohol?
I think iv only blanked out....but how do i know if iv blanked out?

What's on your mind RIGHT NOW?
Well, i was thinking what on my mind-couldnt think of anything-so it went blank-but the i thought i was thinking about what i was thinking about-so really thats what i was indeed thinking about....see my point?

The FUTURE

Would you take a bullet for anyone?
Yeah....and i do mean any one...i would like to know what it felt like...only messing there are a few people i would

Where would you like to live?
....dunno really.some where with water close by....but not nesacerially the sea (yes i spelt it nessaserally.....or to the like of)

What kind of house would you like?
er...ill tell you when im looking

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Unaware that im grown up

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
famous....obviously

ON MYSPACE

Who is your number 1?
?Luke i think

Who have you kissed on your top friends?
Most of them.....and i licked a few as well

Who was the last person that left you a comment?
LUCY

Are you good friends with this person?
i'd like to think

IN GENERAL

Do you like candy necklaces?:
yeah but god only one there so sickly after that....makes my freaking teeth hurt
When's the last time you fell or ran into something?
today at some point

Do you still go trick or treating?
i will just steal a child for the night

What was the last thing you ate?
Crunchy Nut .....cereal

Are you a fast typer?
not really-i use the backspace to often to really be that fast...if i was really super fast id just end up deleting the lot.

What are you doing this weekend?
work, sleep, uni work, play a little maybe?

Whats your favorite type of soda?
Lime and soda

Have you ever moved?
once

How many times have you eaten sushi?
quite a few.i do like it alot

What do you want to do right now?
i want to go the bank

Are you listening to music right now?
nope

How long until your birthday?
not to log...hehhe

When were you the saddest in your whole life?
just my black moods and i do mean black depression pits

What time is it now?
08:19

Do you think anyone will repost to this?
Nope

What makes you pissed off?
Guys in freaking cars....bastard

Have you ever had a song written about you?
.....dunno....havent looked in everyone's diary yet

What song makes you cry?
none

What songs makes you happy?
simple minds...so simple things

What do you like to listen to before you go to bed?
.....nothing i just like to go to sleep

Do you have a job??
bar bar bar

What does Your CD player have in it right now?
?no idea computer or pod for me

If you were a crayon what color would you be?
one of them 4 sided colour ones

What makes you happy?
didnt you just ask this?

What are you wearing?
alot.im freezing

What annoys you most about yourself?
alot...stuborness....nieveness....sure i have other "ness"s

crashed into mine.
No sorry only joking but he could have done that only to top off what an irritating Prick he is.
Arg.
no im not jokin he is a prick, born to develop miniture pricks and then ill imagine that the prick gene can then infect good honest people.
The story goes:
sitting in my car-got an hour to kil before i need to move swiftly.so.
have a nap/relax and just a few minutes worth of peace and quiet.
But no
God decides to take a giant piss on my bonfire.
a arse in a car pulls aglong sidfe mine.and it's screeching out music.now im guessing its music but i wouldnt say no to it being some mother tounge to an alien planet but thats beside the point.
"He'll turn off his car...get out and piss off in a minute..."
the music stops-
only to be turned to the next track of the freakin ET album thats even freaking Louder
"He'll leave....now"
wrong again. Hell sit there....eating a sandwich.....cheese one ill be guessing at.With his music on full blast...i just realised i forgot my mobile...this is not good

right i feel ill and its not the whole i feel like im about to die and would rather get eaten by Jabba the hut to avoid feeling the of slow snort creeping out of my nose,
but god i really feel illand i want to blame.i mean blame.like say i getr to point and stamp on your face....sop i say your oi do mean there but i know whos fault this is entirly.its my own and it sickens me. somif anyone feels like wearing the blame me and throw large rocks at my face then feel ,free or if you feel like just lunging for my privates until i run away c=screaming so that i shut up then again feel free.
i have had my body giving me all the little warnings that i should of listened to.like my headach i have indeed had for a while.
my physically challenging lesson are really physically challenging me.
the fact that when i have felt my muscles groaning at me i have shrugged it off.
and now im annoyed about it.grrrr.this annoys me more than i can say.the fact that all i can hear is the whinin of my own m,ental voice bitchin at me tellin me how unwell i feel is enough for me to try and use my fingernails as miniture knives on my own vains....i was close to having my own homemade saw 5.
right ho im now going to get a shower and i jujst heard a person say "my father was a nun" and almost snorted out the mother of all snot balls.......
nice.very nice.
right so now im going going gone
just so you note.....only 5 days scince my last update...ha

I have a problem and i dont know what it is.
seriously.
there is someting playing at the back of my mind, it is narking and whining and throwing a minor hissy fit and i have no idea what to do about it
How on reath do you tell someone what is goin on inside of your head when you have no idea yourself. the only way i can think to describe is when i justlie still or dont have someone talking to me or something to keep my mind entertained even for a second this thing raises it's ugly little head and starts screeching for my attention.
What is it? Thus one question, this single thought id freaking me out more then i can possibly say. the reason that it's jitting my freak out g spot? because i like to know what im doing. i like it alot. not in the way im a major pain in the ass control freak. im not. my life is too disorganised and disfunctional to even begin to try and explain.
if i were a...boat lets say- and my thoughts the passangers. i'd be the titanic and the women and childre and men would be too spacially unaware to be able to jump off so they would just crash into the nearest suicidal violin player and then the music would stop....
then-i imagine everyone would pause- and listen and hear nothing that would be useful to them at all.
Ironically Neil-the chunky monkey as he like to call himself- has just rang. and i swear i tried to explain it-i swear. But i kept on hitting little points in the conversation that went from
"uh"
to "well...er"
to "do you get my point"
it's distressing the hell out of me.
now it maybe that im just gernerally having -in the comic book world -a hero gets sick of it and puts away his suit until some greater evil comes along and demands that they return but no it's not that. Im not unappreciated. im not even stupid enough to think that what i do on a day to day basis is saving the world or even saving some passing butterfly.i do what i do because i can. my life is good. i have a passion for life and i think people who dont deserve to have rocks thrown at them by passin pidgions or if your me- peacocks.
i honestly have no time or energy for peple who decided to moan about how the milk that they have isnt that single degree cool enough for then or thoses who decided that "ooo i have this very minor flaw in my back that stops me from doin everything i want to do.....dang...i be soo hardy doney by *wails and throws themselves out of the nearest window*. if you have the balls you'll freaking do it. You wont sit there and winge and cry till tears come out of your ass. You'll do it.simple.
Fine i admit. Have your lost moments.have your regrets.have your need and whatever other freakin party trick you want but go after it with a full heart.this is me begging you.please.i swaer if i hear one more person talk about how they "just simple couldnt do"im going to pick them up and shake them in the nearest boucny castle and then let all the air out.while ther inside still.
Iv just actually thouht about this. Where the hell did this piss me off all of a sudden??
i am speed typing and trying to put down as many thoughts as i can on the subject. i have only done this a few time where you just type. dont think.need react. anyting. just type until you decided that that small tension inside of you finds a way through yourfinger tips and into your keyboard.i tink it works im pretty sure that when i re read this after i posted it something that i have wrote no matter how small will gut me.stop me in my tracks or drop a ebay bought tone of bricks on my head. i dont think that it's me deliberatly putting the problem dow in front of me so i have to face it but it sure as hell will be here it has to be. i mean it when i say that rightnow the nations number one mass murder has his rept to fear for if i dont.
just to say im sick of paper so i have-beautifully i say-dont my work on th com. now thats a little lighter in my bag of doom and i dont feel the need to make a early bonfire....though i am stll seriously considering it....
My car is worrying me. it is. sad to say im worrried about it. it's a car. it can be fixed. im just being a big heap of gayness worring about it.but is that stoping me from doing it?let me answer that no.
no it is not
student loans.grants and agreement are actully driving me a small amount of crazy-do you know how many grants there are there?ill give you a clue
-you couldnt count it-
you couldnt because theres one for every aspect of everything
DO YOU HAVE BLUE EYES?then you ned a loan for blue eyed students only.you may not be elegable if you have blue/green or blue/grey.your eye colour must be determind by an assesment. the assesment will be in a few weeks.dont forget it otherwise it'll be a few years.
this is enough that i can understand why Miss portma and miss Oconner shaved there heads because if i was terminally ill maybe just maybe the would would just leave me alone for the whole of 30second to try and sort it out.
iv got to have an assesment to tell me what i already know.y?i have no idea.because they can.because things like having a morning to yourself to just sit with who you want and to do as you want are just so weird that the people who hv such selfish thoughts should indeed be take out bk hung and then chopped up into little peices and fed to the goldfish.
it's odd because i have never know just how much it bothered me having a supposed "disability"it never has.but now when push comes to shove i finding myself always thinking "please you have to remember that even if your memory isnt good"
my memory is fine.i think.i have never given it any thought i forget things but for £100 can you tell me who doesnt.
im actually shaming myself by worrying about it. i used to just get on with it.now instead im whinein about it to my self.
Ah.
i think i just found my problem....but no...i dont think it sounds right.
this is what ha bee giving me a headach?this?ifit is and believe me i will personally unscrew my 4 watt bulb of a brain if it is-then what can i do about it?
.....
i have no idea.
but god im goin to stop moaning about it.
actually i think its a mixture of things.money.life.car.whatever.it has been a bit of a ball effect hasnt it. i mean it must have. not only have i started in a new place i have been changin my pattens
im used to having money.im used to a sleep in.iv been come to think of it pretty spoiled for the last few months....or close to a year. so as sian says whos is one of the most awsome writers i have yet to have a screaming sex night with i need to beat "several different kinds of shade and shapes of"...well ill say "poo" out of myself and stop being a brat.
Ih my god.iv been sulking havent i?my god thats it.iv been sulking at how freaking crule and horrible the world is...*snort*what a freaking brat!
Well that sorted that little problem then.
seriouslt this is free thearpy

my god this is mad-it has not been 37 weeks scince i last updated....right
it's a lie
one of them FBI Spooks have somehow decided that i need to lose the last shred of sanity that resides in my brain....well thank you
it's moved out and took up recidence in some wild ape that now decide's that garilc bread is the future (iv got peter Kay on the brain at the moment-must not help that iv been dozing through it latly)
Actually come to think about it-how many times have you drifted to that cushty place of fluffy pillows and soft hot covers and thought crazed thoughts because you had something that sounded silmular to the thing that you were tinking of
Did you catch that?
Try re-reading it if you didnt
What im saying is it's actually amazing how lazy/crazy our brains can be-
ever done that whole "orange-kangeroo-denmark"sort of mind reading trick?
basically u ask a seris of questions that all amount to you needin 2 fink of a country beginin wit "D" an animal beginin with "K" and a colour beginin with "O" this amused me non stop until i decided that for every 1 who goes
"whoa that crazy_your fantastic andi" and throws a small prarade at my greatness *snort* there are about 69 (what a number to pick) who sit there finkin furiosly about what ota places beging wit "D" that aint denmark-and theyu get the best satisfaction from goin
"well......actaully ....i got the secret country of "desenborg" then i got "gorilla"and then i got "appple green"...."
See my point?please do-
Only try it out on new borns who can coo and arhh - then throw you a small parade....
Actually i was drivin home from uni yesterday-shatted-knackered and generally screwed over feeling the first of the ever dreaded "Freshers Flu" when my mind went for a wonder whilst i drove-
i remembered thinkin about what i would do with this little walk about that my brain decided to take because
and you may not believe me
my head spoke some what conhearent thought-this is a land mark in andilands history-i cant actually think back far enought to a time wher i thought"wow-go an get yourself a gold star and a pat on the back-you made some small amount of scense"
and do you know what i almost did-because sadly i admit i had it all planed out in my head-what i would write-what books i would mention to bk up my theory-what enticeing funny little wittisms (or word that is splet simular)i would put in this monument to my thoughts....
and bam.
i got home-slept in a coma for about 5 hours
and rememberd.....sweet F/A of what it was i was thinking about
*hits head repeatdly on the nearesty wall*
it is......infuriating.
i cannot put into words how badly i felt this blow-it's like some one got a rifel-used a spoon for bullets and shot me in the head-i dont know why that would be more painful-it just would be believe me.
all i can think about is how i could get a big gang of butch bikers to shake me until all the wasted memories and hours fo my life came tumbling out of my ears.
But it's ok....i have all the fun of driving to [reston and bk to contimplate what i will say in my next bolg.....oh yeas....
oh mores to the point i have indeed started Uni-i pulled out my finger....from my nose ofcourse-no where else-and got it all done-now im a student-again....joy
and here goes my circle theory-3rd time i have been a student if not 4th-to me at the moment this consists of someone piling on the work to see how many times my stress eye twitchs before my head actually explodes....
it would be ok if they gave you some sort of "quel the rage" teaching methods like shoving your keys between your fingers and hitting the face of your most hated enemy untill you can smile at them and wish the a good day.
Sammy's 20th 2mo *whoot*
it's goin to be...i dunno-i get hunches-i have a hunch on this.sometings goin to happen an it will leave alot of people gasping or laughing-i dont know nor care which-i dont have the desire to find myslf slamming the head of some gargantuin (thanks kill bill) blond down the nearest toilet because i may have brushed past her and this therefore made all her hair extensions fall out.
i dont want to be reatching down the neares toilet-or calling for my long lost friend "huwhey" and making that loverly splashing sound-but if it's goin to happen then there is sweet f/a (again) that i can do about it- i will try not to get so drunk that that there lamp post looks like it could use a new home in my car. i will try my hardest not to get annoyed at all the drunken "do in know you?"off everyone you meet whilst in the loo
i sound like an old boring sod who hit 91 instead of 19 but i seriously just dont feel like that much drama-it has been to long (on a small while actally) scince i was last out-work has been all demandong on my weekends for the past month or so- so really all i want to do is have a laff-flirt withmyself in the mirror and see who watch's or films it and sends it to ebay and gets 49p for it. i want to prove myself to the shots man that i can do 10 everytime and still stand (i have done it-very weak shots but who cares quantity counts-all this quality stuff is bull-*thinks of changing mind but becomes to stubborn to bother*)
all i want is to look nice do my hair and make up and not come home looking like Alice Cooper who has lost his pocket mirror.
I know sound like i have this all planned out-i dont-iv no idea where im going nor what im doing-all i can hpoe for is to not do what i dont want and thats fine by me.

Other news? why not
-Halo 3 is indeed out. small children by the cheif please?thank u
-im (hopefully)goin to Egypt in Jan *whoop again*
-Neils a girl (just incse he does read this)
-im sure theres somethin else but gwod knows what it is-
-Hold the phone my play is out in the rose theatre-Les Miserables-so yeah you dont have to come just buy the damm tickets please-Ta Lad
Well-think i blabed enough to last another 37 WEEKS?
You would be wrong-im goin to try this de stressingde freakout place so yeah
Tatty Byebyes
*snort*

gwod-soon i will have time for me!

oh and merry christmas-big smooch to all u who i miss

Death via overload-oh yeas-it can happen-it will happen to me soon

Oh well.

Ohh i work a new...get ready for it....


66 HOUR WEEK

Freaking hell ill be rich i tell you...RICH


oh and yeah i miss peoples....this makes me sad
But tonight im off out to have some social thearpy so yeah....get it there....(Im actually excited...my god sad?)

Bounce Bounce bounce-
So, like, yeah. It's my panto in some number of days-like 13 days-excitement is the fun-un-huh

life has been kinder to me laterly-i love my job<3it makes me smile-and the tips that im getting-and this was on a quiet day-was 7 pounds-just cause i smile and listen tp people-this make me happy-ubber happy-

im goin to have no time what so ever this week so hiya- im christina fassion9stick out both arse and boobs) Hiiiiiiiiiiii

right just come home from work and decided to at least give some definition to my week/day
right so in work some bastard is stealing from the tips and till-the till one has got the managers attention-we all have to count how much we have in the till now-mucho anger


right my panto is fun fun but had to kiss the thurs session because of the other show which i can-safly say- rocked


i mean like super duper rocked- like mario brothers on speed rocked


yanwho come home yesterday to have a sick pigion in the house...Yay.

work is good- im find ing myself more and more bored when im not in work-my god i have become a work nerd

the costumes for the panto i have -almost- finished -they also can be decleared as rocking my house down-yes-indeed-

sad little bit of news but my ferrets are all supper happy!!YYAYA!

and for the first time in yonks i actually hav esome time to myslf-so im going to plan something.....hmmmmmmmmm
Note to self: must do something
My week plan is infact

SUN(As in now)-SEE A FRIEND AKA Luke Or Clare
MON- Panto-SEE FRIEND
TUES- WORK
WED- SUPER SIAN DAY!!! DRINK
THURS- PANTO-SEE SOME ONE
FRI-WORK-MEET FUTURE LOVER
SAT-WORK AND OUT!

what a plan

i dont even know why im grrr...
infact im now being told by my o so loverly and sweet father to piss off this....

Eeh...i will tell you tomom

there is only one other person in the USA called Andrea Culkin- were special

need i say more....well yeah my eyes feel like i have a sheet of saw dust on the that rubs every time i blink-Hurah
Shall i turn my dad into third person??? why every not??

Here we go





Andi was exhausted-the she wore her tirdness like an old and heavy garment- the tirdness that had follwed her through the day had eluded her in the late hours of the night when she finally lay down and tried to sleep....




YADA YADA YADA...

my energy is far to low for this

Night

Ok right first things first i got a new job-cheers-
i hve no held the postion for the whole of 1 week-more excited cheers!-
its a bar maid-whatever the hell they want/need me to do- in the imperial
My working hours
TUE- 7-1 (6h)
THURS- 12-3 (a pathetic 3h)
FRI-7-1 (6h again)
SAT-12-9 (phwar-9h!)
SUN- 12-6 (and another 6h)
You can total that up to.....-drum roll please-


!30hours!
not a lot but enough

and my show- the panto- im genie of the ring- but iv got a feeling that i am being mucho loud and irritating- none of the are going to read this so i canny explain myself to them but heres the explanation-

its to get me in the acting mood-so im bigger and god forbid louder on the stage....c? reason in the madness??
YANY who i got the costume ALMOST sorted-tis all floaty and heres the biggy
IM WEARING A LEATARD!
-runs around the room screaming-
sexy i no-all the little kids will have nightmeres
Wharara

Oh and back to the job- new bottle of bells to be opened-the whisky- you turn it upsidedown
put the optical measure in
turn it back around(so its ready to pour)
and then clip it back in place

Manager Ben- can you do this? need any help?
Me- Nope-im fine
Ben- ok-ill go get more bottles
Me-struggles with MASSIVE bottle to clip back into place-
(Thought)does that optical look loose?

SPLOOSH

Thought) oh my GOD WHISKY!its every where turn it round turn it round¬

yes i smelled very strong and some amount of whisky was indeed slushed around EVERYWHERE
i was let off by the skin of my teeth for when manager came back he said-i wont make you pay for this like some would-
wipe swaet off brow- phew

but yes that would be me being a NOB

Oh and i had an interveiw in a dentise-i was mucho nob- all i done was in fact sit there going
Yeah...ok....yeah...completely understandable...nod...nod....nod

am i getting that job? god know. i didnt and needed to have a massivly stupid rant about it-in drama where i am loud and irritating enough as it is-i have got to stop doing that...but it gets my stage confidence going.....

oh well never mind